Erlene Weaver never expected to be a mom at 70.

But when her son and his wife were more interested in drugs and booze than looking after their newborn daughter, she intervened to prevent Reana from being placed into foster care and a potential life of group homes.

She says she couldn't have done otherwise, not after the first time she cradled her granddaughter in her arms. "She's got the eyes that got you," Ms. Weaver says. "How could you resist?"

That was 11 and a half years ago. Since then, she's become mom to two more of her son's kids -- Jordon, 11, and Alicia, 8, who was born in jail.

All have learning problems in varying degrees, but raising Jordon is a particular challenge because he has fetal-alcohol spectrum and attention-deficit disorders.

He has quirks, like burying food in the blankets in his room, but is also a strain on the pocketbook for Ms. Weaver and husband Roy, 74. Jordon often loses his prescription glasses because of his forgetfulness. Unaware that he had a fetal-alcohol disorder at the time, his grandparents also spent $8,000 on tutoring for him before he started school because it was clear he was developmentally delayed.

It didn't help. Jordon failed Grade One and still works at a Grade Three level "on a good day" despite being in Grade 5.

But perhaps the Weavers' biggest parenting challenge came in early 2006, when the city cut off the Ontario Works temporary care assistance payments that helped them raise their grandkids.

The decision, upheld by a social benefits tribunal, applied a strict interpretation of the Ontario Work Act, finding that the Weavers had effectively become their grandkids' parents and were therefore ineligible.

Only the City of Ottawa shares Hamilton's interpretation. Other Ontario municipalities take a more generous reading of the law and continue to provide benefits in such cases.

Ms. Weaver says she wonders how Hamilton can set a goal of making itself, in its own words, "the best place to raise a child" while cutting payments that ultimately go to her grandkids.

The city's ruling means she and her husband no longer qualify for monthly assistance that is a fraction of the $900 paid to foster parents -- $231 for the first child and $188 for all others, plus medical and dental care.

They now cover all those costs, as well as a weekly grocery bill she says is nearly $300. It's forced them to take out a second mortgage on their west-end home, one that had been mortgage free. They're now $35,000 in debt, ending dreams of a restful retirement.

That's on top of the stress of becoming parents again with little outside support. Ms. Weaver says she and Roy can't go out together because there's no one to look after the grandkids. They recently had to attend a friend's 50th anniversary party in shifts.

"It's not where we expected to be. We expected, honest to God, to go to Florida. We expected the world in our retirement," says Ms. Weaver, who worked for 23 years as a supervisor at McMaster hospital.

"If I'd known I was going to be raising kids in my later life I would have worked maybe another couple years to increase my pension," she says.

"Here I am, all my RRSPs are gone. I had a lot; they're all gone. Now I have a mortgage and my house is falling apart."

Ms. Weaver isn't alone in her plight and isn't taking Hamilton's decision to cut benefits lying down.

Two years ago, she formed Raising Our Children's Kids -- or ROCK -- a support group for grandmothers in her situation.

They meet regularly and are lobbying the province to change the law, with no success to date.

But they have found one champion in Hamilton East-Stoney Creek NDP MPP Paul Miller, who continues to press their case at Queen's Park, including with Premier Dalton McGuinty.

Mr. Miller was out of town and unavailable for comment this week.

But constituency assistant Todd White accuses the Ministry of Community and Social Services of failing to enforce its own policy.

He says the policy clearly states that duration of benefits and custody aren't criteria for assistance, but ministry officials insisted in a recent meeting that "the overall situation" determines eligibility.

Even so, he says municipalities are being allowed to interpret the same rules differently and provide benefits. In other words, the Hamilton grandparents are simply living in the wrong place. If they were to move to Toronto, for instance, they would receive assistance.

"No one's acting on it," Mr. White says. "We can't get anyone to take responsibility."

In the meantime, grandparents like Beverly McIntosh persevere in daunting circumstances.

Forced into retirement by a back injury, the 61-year-old former nurse adopted granddaughter Rosina, 9, and grandson Austin, 7, from her daughter shortly after they were born.

Both have fetal-alcohol spectrum and related disorders, she says, and are prone to erratic and troubling behaviour that leaves them ostracized by other children.

Austin still draws pictures with poop on his bedroom walls and is a constant handful. He once skipped out of school with a classmate, returning home while Ms. McIntosh was out. The principal found the boys and called police, but not before they trashed her downstairs, smearing and flinging paint from craft bottles in every direction.

Even so, Ms. McIntosh says she loves both grandkids dearly and has taken out a line of credit against her house to pay for their needs.

Their mother has a drug and alcohol problem and never calls, let alone visits or helps with expenses, she says.

The rewards for Ms. McIntosh's efforts seem slim. Rosina and Austin can be volatile and hurtful.

"They're loving me one minute, they're hugging me and kissing me, and like that," she says, snapping her fingers, "they're yelling at me, 'I hate you, you're mean, you're hitting me all the time.' And at that time, their mind really believes that."

Ms. McIntosh doesn't blame her grandchildren and says she's more worried that they're losing out on their childhood because no one will play with them.

"They can't control their behaviour," she says. "It's not their fault... They're brain damaged."

Raising Our Children's Kids meets the first and third Wednesday of the month from 6 to 8 p.m. and every second Friday from 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. at Hamilton East Kiwanis Club, 45 Ellis Ave. For more information, call Erlene at 905-528-1919 or Bonnie at 905-545-0179.