A few hours later, she was gone, finally at peace after a brutal struggle.

My birth mother, the woman who gave me this great gift of life, passed away last Wednesday night at approximately 7 p. m. She was 60.

Her passing was no surprise. She had been ill off-and-on for almost two years now. A few weeks ago, she slipped and fell, breaking her hip.

When I went to visit her in the hospital, she was in rough shape and showing obvious signs off poor health.

The hip injury was a crushing blow for my mom, who always valued her independence.

“I feel like I’ve lost my freedom,” she said to me. To me, it seemed as if there was more wrong than just a broken hip. She looked 20 years older than her six decades.

The subsequent hip surgery confirmed my suspicions. Last Sunday family from across Ontario were summoned to a small hospital in Shelburne with news that mom had taken a turn for the worst.

I rushed back from the Ottawa area, and was fortunate to talk to my mom before she slipped into an unconscious state the following day and never again opened her eyes.

“I love you mom, I always have, I always will,” I whispered into her ear that night.

It was a chance to say goodbye to a woman I never really got to know, but loved immensely. With her passing, I am left feeling regret for opportunity lost.

When I was five years old, my mother made the tough decision to step away from our lives so that we may have a better opportunity with our father.

My parents split up when my sister and I were very young. My mother was only 18 when she gave birth to me in 1967. When my parents ended their marriage three years later, she struggled with the role of single mother. She had support from my father, and every weekend he would visit and ask her if she wanted to take a break. One weekend, she said “yes.”

I barely saw her again for 10 years.

We communicated and visited each other sporadically as time wore on.

You could always count on a birthday card, or Christmas gift each year. For many years, we would always make a stop in Shelburne to celebrate the season with mom.

It was never easy, because our life experiences went in different directions as the years went by. My mom was a country girl, a real joker who appreciated the simpler things in life. Her garden was a particular passion, something I think she passed on to me in my genetic make up.

Her working career involved stints at the country co-op store, and later at a popular burger joint where Highways 89 and 10 come together.

We’d often make stops at Super Burger on our travels to cottage country. Mom was always so proud to show off her children to the employees.

She was proud of what we accomplished. I think it caused her both great joy as well as pain to see us. Joy that we grew up to be successful adults. Pain that she couldn’t be a part of our lives, or play a significant role in our maturity and development.

My mom knew we were in good hands with our father. While it was painful as a mother to give up her children, she did it for all the right reasons.

Born in Welland, my mother Beverley was one of 11 children. It was a special experience this past week to renew old family relationships. I look forward to learning more about my mother through these rekindled relationships. I know my mother and I share so much in common personality-wise. We’re both stubborn and opinionated, but always willing to step forward and lighten the mood when intervention is needed.

I was fortunate in my life to have two mothers. My birth mother gave me life. My step mother gave me experience. They were both incredible people, and I love them dearly. I owe them both so much.

My step mother died of breast cancer just a few short years ago. She too left many unanswered questions. She also died too early, and mainly by her own will.

I never thought I would watch two mothers pass so early in life.

Watching my mother die last week was painful. Sitting by her bedside, holding her hand, stroking her hair and wishing this wasn’t happening brought forth many tears.

I can’t change the fact that she’s gone, and I can’t change the fact that our relationship wasn’t as strong as I had hoped it might be one day.

However, I pray she will walk beside me now as an angel, and guide me with motherly influence. She is inside me forever, in my thoughts and in my heart, and nothing can keep us a part.